As the New Moon Rises
by H.BSwann
Summary: "I think that they're so concerned with protecting us from the pain of truth. They don't realize how much the lies can hurt, when the truth comes out." Harry nodded numbly at Briar's words. *Traids, Grey Dumbledore, slightly AU, OC's*
1. Pardon My French

**Chapter 1: Pardon My French**

* * *

Briar looked around the crowed room, her palms were damp, and her heart raced in her chest, she never really liked crowds the noise was too loud and there was always one person who wore too much cologne that would make her nose itch and burn. Her mother walked behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's too loud." Briar winced as a red-haired family tromped through the Leaky Cauldron. Emilia smiled gently at her daughter and placed a kiss to her temple.

"Ne t'inquiète pas mon amour les effets de la lune vont bientôt passer." Emilia whispered in her daughters' ear.

The girl nodded and sighed. "Doesn't make it any easier."

The side of Emilia's mouth turned up and she tucked a wild curl behind Briar's ear, not that it managed to make her daughter's hair look any less untamed, but the action calmed Briar slightly.

"Emilia I'm glad you could make it." A graceful woman with white blonde hair and stormy grey eyes walked towards the mother and daughter who stood off to the side away from the crowd.

A warm smiled appeared on Emilia's face. "It has been too long Cissa." The two grasped hands tightly as Briar watched as the pair seemed to converse silently. Cissa nodded and turned her attention on Briar.

"Well Mademoiselle Briar Rose, you have most certainly grown." Narcissa Malfoy said, her lips were upturned in an approving smile as she studied Briar.

"Thank you, Lady Malfoy." Briar looked down at her feet as her cheeks began heating up. Narcissa placed a finger under her chin a lifted Briar's face up making the girl stand straighter and more alert.

"There now, pretty girls deserve to have their faces seen." Briar blushed once again at Narcissa's compliment. "Now, come. I reserved a table in the back for us. We shouldn't be bothered there." Narcissa led the way to a small table in the back of the run-down tavern.

The room that held the table was small, it had once been rented out for customers, but most didn't like the size, nor did they enjoy being so close to the kitchen; the room was now used for guest who wanted to dine in privacy. Briar was thankful for Narcissa's quick thinking.

A tiny house elf appeared just as they too their seats, "My names is Tingle and I will bes serving yous. What can Tingle makes for yous?" The tiny elf squeaked out excitedly.

Emilia and Narcissa were not particularly hungry, ordered tomato soup while Briar was ravenous ordered Shepard's Pie, with a large slice of chocolate cake.

Emilia chuckled as Tingle looked at Briar in shock but soon the shock was over and the excitement began. Tingle popped away quickly, but not before making sure the table had a picture of water and three glasses filled to the brim.

"I do believe love, that you made her night." Emilia hummed out while Narcissa grinned.

It didn't take long for their food to be prepared and Briar was quick to dig into her hearty portion of food while Narcissa and Emilia were busy catching up.

Briar smiled softly as she chewed; Her mother and Narcissa were good friends in school, six months after Briar's second birthday Emilia moved them to France; from what Briar understood, Narcissa was related to one of her fathers. Narcissa was also one of the only people who knew both of her father's identities and that her mother and fathers were a triad.

Triad's were incredibly rare and dangerous, from the little her mother told her about triads, it all depended on magic. _"Usually those who find themselves in a Triad can already feel the magic pulsating and pushing them to each other…At least that's how it was for your father's and I."_ Emilia's words echoed in her mind.

Briar half listened to her mother and Narcissa speak, knowing that they were most likely retelling stories from their youth; Briar was more interested in analyzing the pair.

Narcissa was like fine wine subtle and supple. A polished woman of society; most would call her vain, entitled and stuffy. Briar saw Narcissa as smart and cunning; Most would assume her husband single handedly ran the Malfoy empire, but Briar was observant enough to know that was not the case, the aristocratic woman in front of her was too intelligent to be ignored and Lucius for all his faults had some sense to use his wife's brilliance to the family's advantage.

Of course, no one knew that Narcissa had a hand in business and didn't mind playing the part of picture-perfect pureblood wife.

Briar had come to greatly admire the woman.

Her mother was slightly different then Narcissa.

If Narcissa was a fine wine, then Emilia was an antique jewel.

Emilia like Narcissa was too smart for her own good, attentive with a vast assortment of knowledge; but Emilia was bold; She was all to pleased to show her intellectual capacities and not afraid to intimidate someone with her own brand of brilliance. She made her own fortune as a Healer, specializing in curses, she had published many different papers on her findings one of which being a better cure for Dragon Pox, not that many hospitals used it, preferring to stick to the modernized techniques of Albus Dumbledore.

" _Misogynistic lot."_ Emilia once said.

Briar decided as a child that she would one day grow up to be like her mother and Narcissa, she would be graceful, clever and cunning. She could only hope to be as beautiful as them, but she would gladly settle for their intelligence.

"Aurora." Emilia called out to her daughter trying to get her attention.

Briar winced at the use of her first named. "Maman, tu as promis de ne pas m'appeler comme ça, surtout en public." Briar's cheeks turned red along with the bridge of her nose.

Emilia gave a cheeky grin, "Why not, it is what I named you. Aurora Briar Rose." Narcissa smirked at the prissy sounding name, Briar flushed even more.

"Mum, most children are not stuck with a list as their name." Briar said while shoving a forkful of her cake into her mouth, and Emilia chuckled.

"To be fair I like your name." The matter of fact tone made Briar sigh.

Narcissa smiled softly at them, a faraway look in her eyes as she looked at Briar. Narcissa sighed and Emilia placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Narcissa nodded, "I have just missed you. Both of you, you're my family…At least the only family who wants anything to do with me." Emilia squeezed her friends shoulder once again. The trio sat in silence for a few moments until a knock sounded on the door of their room.

"You may enter." Narcissa said.

A man who was dressed nicely in a suit and a long brown trench coat entered the room, he had large blue eyes and styled brown hair. He wore a stern expression like a suit of armor, although Briar believed if his expression tensed any more then his eyes would pop out of his head. He stared at Narcissa who gave him a neutral glance.

"May I help you?" Narcissa questioned smoothly.

The man cleared his throat, "May I speak to you in private Lady Malfoy?"

Narcissa inclined her head to the side slightly and smirked, "I would prefer to speak here if that is alright with you, Mr. Dawlish."

"Lady-"

"Comment apprécies-tu la soupe ici?" Emilia asked Briar. Mr. Dawlish looked at Emilia in masked confusion.

"La soupe est bonne mais je préfère la tarte au berger. Le temps est beau, légèrement plus frais que la France mais adorable." Briar said quickly to her mother as Mr. Dawlish relaxed his posture.

"I think it's will be fine to speak here, Mr. Dawlish." Narcissa pressed once more as she took a sip of water.

"They don-" Mr. Dawlish began, wishing for some type of reassurance.

Narcissa gave a coy smile, "They are from France. Emilia is a good friend of mine and Briar is her daughter, she attended Beauxbatons this past term."

Emilia and Briar turned to Narcissa as soon as she spoke their names, "Ne vous inquiétez pas, Mr. Dawlish peut être un bon Auror mais il n'est pas le plus brillant." A charming smile on her face as she nodded to Mr. Dawlish.

Mr. Dawlish turned pink around his ears and cleared his throat, "Lady Malfoy, I am here to warn you about Sirius Black. The Ministry wants everyone who has ever been associated with or has ever encountered Black to be alerted. We know that he's your cousin and Lord Malfoy informed us that you and Black were estranged but we wanted you to be prepared. Black is a desperate man, and desperate men are dangerous men."

Narcissa glanced briefly at Emilia who paused for a moment and went back to whispering in French to Briar.

"Well, I will be certain to be extra cautious then, Mr. Dawlish, thank you for your time." Narcissa said politely dismissing the Auror. Mr. Dawlish was still slightly flushed and Narcissa believed that the man still harbored a crush on her from their time at Hogwarts.

The man nodded and walked away, when he was out of earshot Narcissa turned her attention onto Emilia. "Are you okay?"

Emilia nodded, her long blonde curls bounced slightly, "As okay as I can be…Does anyone know what he's after."

Narcissa sighed, "From what I hear, they're not certain. Aurors heard him talking in his sleep."

Emilia arched a manicured eyebrow, "What was he saying?"

Narcissa grimaced, "He's at Hogwarts."

Emilia closed her eyes and sighed deeply, "Harry."

"That's what they believe."

Briar who was silently digesting the information noticed the doubt in Narcissa's voice. "What they believe, as in you don't?"

Narcissa looked down at the table, not wanting to meet her friend and surrogate niece's eyes, "What I believe doesn't matter in this case." The bitterness was barely hidden in her voice.

"Cissa, what do you know?" Emilia's voice held a steeliness that Briar had only heard a handful of times.

Narcissa raised her head making sure to meet Emilia's eyes and took Briar's hand in her right and Emilia's hand in her left, in that moment she was no longer Narcissa Malfoy Pureblood wife but Tantine Cissa, "I honestly know nothing, I wasn't there when he was arrested nor was Lucius… _He_ sent Lucius to the ministry that night. Something important needed to be kept safe in the Lestrange vault, " Narcissa shook her head, "I don't know. But I'm thankful he did. My husband is a lot of things but a sadist he is not. Could barely help me when Draco would injure himself."

"Couldn't stand blood?" Briar wondered.

Narcissa rolled her eyes, "More like cried more than Draco when Draco would scrape a knee."

Emilia smiled, "Always had a dramatic flair."

Cissa smiled briefly before grief once again took over her face, "I don't know if Sirius did what he has been accused of but, I know this. There was no trial…and the three of you were his whole world. Not to mention Sirius and Potter were like brothers. I don't think Sirius would have been capable of betraying any of you he just never seemed to have the capacity to murder twelve muggles and Peter Pettigrew one of his dearest friends with one spell." Narcissa sighed her grip tightened slight on their hands.

"Sirius was powerful and proud but…Something just wasn't right." Cissa paused, "Something isn't right."

Emilia sighed, "I know." She looked at Briar's confused expression. "I never fully believed he was guilty. He'd disappear and was secretive, but we had Briar and Remus was trying to recruit werewolves. It was war….And war changes people, but Sirius and Remus both…they were my soulmates. We were bonded. There was always a line with us…trust that I didn't think could ever be broken. Sirius he is a piece of me."

"If you didn't believe Sirius was guilty, why didn't you say something Mum?" Briar tried to push back tears only to have one fall down her cheek.

Emilia leaned over and brushed the tear away with her thumb, "I wasn't sure my love. Remus and Sirius had gotten into an argument the night before and Sirius was hiding something from us. I was able to ignore that fact. Remus was more suspicious. Plus, I had you and at the time there were quite a bit of deatheaters looking for revenge in any way they could get it. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk you."

Emilia looked at Cissa, "He left that night. Was gone for a week, I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. I don't know what was said between he and Remus but from what I gather it wasn't pretty. After that week, Sirius was arrested, and Remus and I were trying to piece ourselves back together." Emilia gave a tight smile.

"Sometimes, things don't work out the way you'd hope." Narcissa patted her friend's hand in show of her support while Briar tried to ignore the numbness she felt.

Narcissa was the first to break the silence as she glanced at Briar's empty plates, "I can't believe you ate all of that food."

* * *

 **AN: So there will be some French in this I will translate it all at the bottom, also I used Google Translate so if the translations so the translations may be sub-par.**

 **Do not worry my love the effects of the moon will soon pass**

 **Mom, you promised not to call me that, especially in public**

 **How do you like the soup here**

 **The soup is good but I prefer the Shepard's pie. The weather is nice, slightly cooler than France but lovely**

 **Do not worry, Mr. Dawlish may be a good Auror but he is not the brightest**

 **Auntie**


	2. Of Egg Yolks and Memories

**AN: So, I realized in my last chapter I had forgotten to put a disclaimer, so here it is, JK Rowling is queen and I'm just playing in her sandbox. This story is non-profit and a little AU cannon divergent and will contain some slash, het, lemons and Grey Dumbledore.**

 **Some characters may differ a little, but I don't plan on bashing any, if I do then I will put a disclaimer at the top. All translations are at the bottom and I have used Google Translate so the translations might be off.**

 **Thanks- H.B**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Of Egg Yolks and Memories**

After spending a few more hours with Narcissa, Emilia and Briar made their way home to a large Victorian styled farmhouse a large stone wall gated in the yard giving the premise of privacy; it was located just outside of London seated into the countryside, a small village was a few miles away from the vast property.

Briar was quick to go upstairs to her room while Emilia chose to stay downstairs and riffle through the boxes that still needed to be unpacked. Emilia was content in the silence of the house until she heard the vocals of Freddie Mercury coming from Briar's room; Emilia couldn't help but shed a few tears.

Some days Emilia couldn't help but see Briar and see her husbands, Briar was a mosaic of the three of them but when she would lay on the sofa and read books bigger than herself Emilia would see Remus; when Briar danced around singing classic rock lyrics at the top of her lungs she saw Sirius. Sometimes looking at Briar would sting but then Briar would smile or laugh, and the pain would drift away.

"Mum?" Briar's voice brought Emilia back to reality and Emilia wiped away tears that she didn't know had begun to fall.

"I'm fine."

Briar shook her head, "No you're not." Briar moved from her position on the stairs and walked to her mother wrapping her arms around her. Emilia buried her face in her daughter's hair and breathed in her scent as she wrapped her own arms around her daughter, her fingers relished in the familiar feel of the soft cotton of the tee shirt that Briar had changed into.

Emilia felt her throat clench as she realized that Briar had opted to change out of the lace sundress and into an old pair of jeans that had once belonged to Emilia and a black Rolling Stones tee shirt that had once belonged to Sirius. "Mum, what's the matter?"

Emilia walked over to the sofa and sat, Briar followed worry present on her face. "I love you so much." Emilia's watery voice said as she choked out the words.

Briar's eyebrows creased, "I love you too, Mum." Briar swallowed and shifted, "Is this about Sirius?'

Emilia sighed, "A little."

Briar looked at her lap, "What happened that night?"

Emilia hesitated and looked everywhere but her daughter. "Mum…I deserve to know…I know you don't like talking about them, but Remus still sends me a present on my birthday every year and you never say his name and anytime anyone mentions Sirius you look…guilty…I just-"Briar struggled to find the right words. "It's just, they're a part of me…Part of the reason I'm here."

Emilia finally looked at her daughter and brushed the side of Briar's hair behind her ear. "It all started a few weeks before Halloween."

* * *

 **October third, 1981**

"I don't like it, Sirius." Emilia said she tried to dress her wriggling daughter.

Sirius sighed, "I know, Kitten. But Dumbledore needs my help." He walked over to her and took the frilly pink dress out of her hands and handed her a pair of overalls and a plain white tee shirt. "Princess doesn't like that dress."

"Itch." The little blonde girl squealed as Sirius picked her up and tickled her, he slid the tee shirt over her head and expertly put on her overalls before setting her down. "Way too poufy too. Makes her look like a cupcake. Might as well throw it out."

Emilia arched an eyebrow and pursed her lips. "My mother bought it for her at a boutique in France and she looks so cute in it. The dress stays." The toddler blew a raspberry at her mother then giggled when Emilia peppered her chubby cheeks in kisses. "And don't try to change the subject. Tell him no."

Sirius picked up Briar and placed her on his hip while Emilia focused on putting the dress back into the closet. He frowned at Emilia's soured face, "Kitten you know I can't. Dumbledore needs my help."

"Why can't someone else do it Sirius?" Emilia questioned trying to hide her pink cheeks, "It's bad enough that he already has Remus recruiting werewolves in Greyback's pack…Sirius I don't know if I could stand being here alone without knowing what either of you were going through. It hurts with Remus away most of the time…I worry...I know you do too but. I can't stand to think about something happening to you…to Remus…Merlin forbid both of you." Emilia took Briar out his arms and began walking to the kitchen.

"It's James and Lily." Sirius said.

"What?"

"James and Lily." Sirius repeated, "The mission has to do with James and Lily."

Emilia grew pale, "What's happening Sirius?"

"Dumbledore doesn't know…He suspects a spy within the Order." Sirius took Emilia in his arms and pulled her and Briar close, "He doesn't know who it is, but he knows someone's feeding information to Voldemort."

Briar began to squirm, so Emilia put her down on the ground and sat at the kitchen table, her head in her hands. Sirius sat down next to her and grasped her hand and placed a kiss upon her palm.

"What about James and Lily…Are they okay?" Emilia's concern for her friends grew.

Sirius breathed deeply, "As okay as the rest of us. I can't tell you why I have to go, but I can tell you I'll be back."

Emilia felt the sting of tears begin, "When, do you have to go."

Sirius hesitated before answering, "I have to leave tomorrow night."

Emilia felt her throat tighten at his words. "How long will you be gone?"

Sirius shrugged as Briar tugged at his jeans and held her arms up, Sirius complied and picked up the toddler who then began playing with the ends of his hair, "A couple of days, three tops." Sirius winced when his daughter pulled a little too hard on a strand.

Emilia sighed once again and shook her head as she stood walking over to the fridge and took out an assortment of breakfast ingredients, "I just don't like it."

Sirius went and stood behind her Briar clinging to his side her tiny fingers tangled in his hair, "Em, I know, but it's for James, Lily and Harry. A better future for all of us…for Aurora." Sirius inclined his head to his daughter who stuck out her tongue when she heard her first name.

Sirius shook his head as he looked at his daughter, "You had to have taught her that."

Emilia smiled slightly, "I didn't…I'm pretty sure it was Remus."

As if on cue the tall lanky man walked into the kitchen dressed only in pajama pants and half of his sandy-blonde hair stuck to his head. "Remus did what?"

"Papa." Briar squealed and held out her arms. Remus smiled widely and immediately took her in his arms. He kissed her head as she snuggled into his chest.

Sirius gave Remus a faux glare, "Our daughter has picked up a little habit." At Remus's confused stare Sirius held up a hand, "Watch. Aurora, don't you want to come to daddy."

The curly haired toddler turned to Sirius stuck out her tongue blew a raspberry, "No. No. No." She chanted shaking her head. Remus laughed, and Emilia smiled not fully able to join in the jovialness of the room.

Sirius gave Briar a pained look, "Come here, Princess." Briar shook her head again and burrowed herself close to Remus's chest. "You have successfully turned our daughter against me…You're just mad my name choice went first."

Remus grinned, "Briar Rose, go to daddy, he's being a baby and needs you to help him feel better." Remus tickled her sides Briar laughed and clapped her hands together allowing Sirius to take her.

"Daddy better?" Briar's large silvery grey eyes looked at her dark-haired father curiously. Sirius bumped his nose against hers, "I'm okay." The child seemed placated by this and smiled.

Emilia however was a storm brewing. She busied herself by cracking open eggs for breakfast but dropped one on the floor, the fragile shell broke and yolk went everywhere, normally Emilia would wave her wand and clean it up in seconds but today was not a normal day and she began to cry.

Briar looked at her mother in confusion and began to tear up as well, Sirius felt his chest tighten and Remus who was not included in the earlier conversation looked on in shock and worry. Remus immediately made his way to Emilia's side who was crunched down beside of the mess, in a crumpled heap on the floor, tears freely flowing from her face.

"Come on love why don't you play in the nursery." Sirius quickly relocated their daughter to her nursery and soon Briar was interested in her blocks although she still sent glances at her door. "Everything's fine Princess, Mummy is just a little sad right now and needs Daddy and Papa. You play." Sirius whispered and hurried back to the kitchen but not before placing a silencing charm on Briar's door and a quick ward to alert them if she left her room.

Emilia was held tightly in Remus's arms her face was red and splotchy as she cried into his shoulder. Remus's eyebrows pulled together as he sat on the floor with Emilia, "Love, what's wrong?" Emilia didn't answer him just cried harder.

Sirius sat down on the other side of Emilia and Remus, he leaned over and pushed her hair gently to the other side of her neck, he kissed the side of her neck and laid his chin on her shoulder. After a few more moments Emilia began to calm down as Sirius moved back giving her room. Emilia leaned back against the cabinets under the sink, her face was pained, and the sides of her hair stuck to her wet cheeks. Remus brushed her hair off her cheeks and kissed her temple, she leaned into his touch.

"I can't lose either of you." Her voice raspy from her tears.

Sirius took her hands in his, "You won't."

Emilia looked at him blankly, "You can't promise that Sirius…This is war…and you…and Remus…Both of you are at the frontlines." Remus wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I am terrified every morning when I wake up to an empty bed and note that…that will be my future…that I will bury my husbands and Briar will never know her fathers…I just." A new flood of tears began flowing down her cheeks.

Sirius's face crumpled, "Kitten…Em…I would tell Dumbledore to shove it but it's James and Lily…I just."

Emilia shook her head, "Sirius I want you to go to them…I just want you to come back." Emilia then turned to Remus who had been silent. "That goes double for you…You are supposed to be resting."

Remus shook his head, "I know, I will do everything I can to come home to the best thing's in my life. You three are my world." Remus kissed Emilia gently and then Sirius. "And why would I sleep when our Little Briar Rose is taking the mick out on her Daddy."

The three chuckled and then a silence passed over them, it was slightly strained, all three of them stuck in their own thoughts, fear of losing each other and their family. Fear of losing their friends, and fear of somehow losing themselves; war changes people and it was safe to say that they all feared what that change would be.

They didn't have any longer to contemplate their future as the ward on Briar's door went off. Sirius was the first to stand, "I'll go and see what our Princess is up to." As he turned to leave he heard Emilia and Remus's laughter.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

Remus stood and helped Emilia up both smirked at him, "Well Pads, thank you for helping us clean up the mess." Remus grinned while Emilia covered her mouth trying to suppress her chuckles.

"What-oh fuck it." Sirius said as he felt the runny mess of egg yolk on the back of his favorite jeans, he then perked up and turned to Emilia and Remus, "Does this mean you two were staring at my arse?"

* * *

 **October 10** **th** **, 1981**

Peter and Sirius sat in the Potter's living-room each nursing a butterbeer while waiting on James, Lily had taken Harry to Alice Longbottom and Neville, it'd be a long time before Harry could see his friend; as the Potters were soon going into hiding and wouldn't be able to see anyone for some time.

Sirius felt bad for his friends but there was something dire commencing in his home, He and Emilia were worried Remus hadn't been home in four days, neither had heard from Remus since he had left.

"I just don't know." Peter began once again, "Remus is gone an awful lot."

Sirius drank some of his drink, "So are we Pete, we're all going on missions for the Order."

"Yeah but none of us are in Knockturn Ally hanging around Greyback's pack." Peter whispered out.

Sirius's eyes were set in a hard glare and Peter recoiled slightly, "What does that mean?"

"All I'm saying is, Greyback has a lot of control on his pack…And Remus was bitten by him." Peter squeaked, "Isn't there some passage in the Defense Against the Dark Arts text that said, ' _Werewolves bitten by the Alpha are more inclined to be subservient to the Alpha_ ' Remus might have not had a lot of choice."

Sirius's glare intensified, "Remus would never betray any of us Peter." Peter whimpered slightly in fear, and Sirius's eyes softened, "Look, I know everything's stressful right now, but I have trust that we'll figure out how to beat Voldemort."

Peter looked at his lap, "Marley had that trust to. So, did Dorcas."

Sirius swallowed, "Yeah…But they died fighting…You know as well as I do that they would've wanted to go out that way." Peter nodded slightly and shifted, he rubbed his hands together nervously.

James finally made it downstairs his wild hair wet and his glasses slightly fogged, He wiped them om the end of his red jumper. He put his glasses back on his face then looked at two of his best friends in confusion, "What did I miss."

Sirius glanced at Peter, "Nothing…Just talking."

James leaned his head to the side, " 'Bout what?"

Sirius shrugged and grinned, "Nothing important. Come on Prongs, lets go." James grabbed a jacket off the back of a chair and followed his friends out the door.

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter had gone to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks and a 'guys night out' with the Prewett twins Fabian and Gideon, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Frank Longbottom while Lily had taken Harry and visited Alice and Neville Longbottom. They had been at the pub for an hour they talked and joked but James could sense tension in Sirius, sure he had been the same exuberant person he had always been but there was a strain in his smile.

"I'm going out for a smoke be back in a second." Sirius said to the group as he stood and made his way outside of the crowded pub.

James narrowed his eyes. "Everything alright mate?" Fabian asked as he shuffled around a deck of cards.

James looked at the red-haired man and gave an apathetic smile, "Yeah, just need some air, be back in minute." James stood and followed his friends' steps outside.

Sirius was leaned back against the brick wall a fag in one hand as the other ran nervously through his black curls. "Mind sharing?" James's voice made Sirius jump slightly.

"Lily will kill you." Sirius muttered handing the lit cigarette to James. James inhaled the toxic smoke deeply, it had been a habit he had in school but quit in the spring of his sixth year. Though he'd indulge himself once every so often; mainly when the weight of the war would become too much or if Harry had rough day and the rare occasion when he and Lily were having a spat.

"So, how's Emilia and Briar?" James asked easily as he took another drag and passed the cigarette back to Sirius.

Sirius shuffled his feet and smiled slightly, "They're good…Emilia's worried…Has every right to be and Aurora; she's a cheeky little thing. Hates her name and loves driving her mum mad. Emilia said she caught Aurora levitating the biscuit jar off the counter." Sirius looked at James and gave a toothy grin, "Had three bites out of a chocolate biscuit before Emilia caught her. Little minx took off running with the jar later that day."

James smiled as Sirius blew smoke through his nose, "How's Moony?"

Sirius looked at the ground and absently toed a few leaves, "I don't know Prongs. It's been four days and we haven't heard anything."

"He's been gone longer than this hasn't he?" James arched an eyebrow as he nicked the cigarette from Sirius once again, savoring his last drag as he handed it back to Sirius.

Sirius nodded and exhaled deeply, "He has, last time he barely made it back before Aurora was born." Sirius then looked at his friend, a deep sadness in his eyes, "Prongs he made sure he communicated with us some way. Always. He'd leave a note with Tom or Rosmerta, simple words like 'fine' or 'waiting' nothing with detail just a single word, so we knew he was alive and coming home. Now there's nothing."

James looked at emphatically, "Pads, he'll be home to you three soon." James placed a hand on Sirius's shoulder.

When the war openly broke out Remus, Sirius and Emilia decided to keep their bond a secret, it made sense to them the Dupree family while relatively unknown in Britain were nobility in France, it was one of the few times that Emilia was grateful that the British Ministry was inept in the ways of other societies. They were careful Sirius and Remus rented a separate flat (even though they lived with Emilia in their own) just as an extra precaution.

James was one of the first and one of the only people who knew about Remus, Sirius and Emilia's triad, he was the first person told and even went to France with them when they bonded. When Emilia found out she was pregnant James was made godfather he was the fourth person to hold Briar and the first to make her smile although Emilia said it could've been gas.

Sirius threw the butt of the cigarette on the ground and crushed it beneath his boot, he held his head down then lifted it to look at James, "I know he'll be back…I guess I'm just scared. Sometimes I wish we could take less missions…I know for a fact Emilia does."

James looked at Sirius with widened eyes, "Never heard you say that before." James leaned back against the wall beside Sirius.

Sirius gave a half-hearted smile, "Never had anything to live for before."

"Pads. Don't talk like that." A serious tone taking James's voice.

Sirius smiled reassuringly, "I didn't mean for it to sound so morbid. In school I knew I loved Moony. I knew that somehow someway we were going to be together, I knew I'd die for him without a second thought and then Emilia came along and Moony was so taken with her and I met her, and it was like-" Sirius gave a slow wide grin and his eyes closed for a moment, "It was like everything came together. I was whole.

"Then it changed I would die for them, I needed them, and I knew they needed me. We'd die for each other. Then somewhere along the lines it changed…I don't know maybe it was when we bonded…maybe before then or maybe it was when Aurora was born." Sirius opened his eyes and looked at James, " I realized it's easy to die for people… easier to die for a cause….but it's header to live for them …I'm not saying I'm giving up on the Order or anything, but I am saying that…After this I am going to cherish every moment with them. I'm going to put so many laugh lines on Emilia's face and grey in Remus's hair and I'm going to watch my daughter grow up…Hopefully have a few more ankle biters."

James smiled, "Strange isn't it?"

Sirius looked at him in confusion, "What."

James gave Sirius a cheeky grin, "Life. "James's grin grew. "We're all going to make it through this war and win, and then you three will come out with your bond have a real wedding cause you know Emilia will want one, we'll all make more babies and send them off to Hogwarts together to torment Minnie and then Harry and Briar will tie the knot and after that, we'll be the best grandparents in the world."

Sirius laughed loudly as the pair walked back to the pub, "Wouldn't that be something."

* * *

 **October 30** **th** **1981**

Remus had been different when he returned from the werewolf pack. Emilia noticed that he was moodier and prone to outbursts, she had assumed it could've been an earlier reaction to the moon, but she knew deep down this wasn't the case.

Remus isolated himself in the guest bedroom that was more of a library then anything, all of Remus's books along with Emilia's were stacked along a bookcase some were in cardboard boxes in the closet. Emilia put Briar to bed, she tucked in the toddler and closed the door, making sure to silence it so she could talk to Remus; and when Remus was in moods such as the one he was in as of that moment, it could mean more shouting then actual speaking.

Emilia leaned against the doorframe and watched as Remus leaned over a book that he had opened on a small desk in the corner, his nose close to the page.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emilia broke the silence; Remus groaned and leaned back in his chair.

"Not now Emilia." The terseness of his voice was almost a growl.

Emilia rolled her soft brown eyes, "Not now. Okay. Then when, or are you just going to ignore us?"

Remus slammed his book close, "I. Don't. Want. To. Talk." He stood up abruptly and made to exit the room, Emilia blocked his exit.

"Non, nous parlons maintenant." Annoyance seeping into her voice and heat into her eyes.

Remus shook his head, "I have no idea what you said. But no." He made to move again but Emilia placed a hand on his chest and walked him back to the bed. The back of Remus's knees hit the mattress, forcing him to sit down.

Emilia shook her head as she tried to calm herself, "Remus, it's not just you anymore. It's you, me, Sirius and Briar. And we are worried, you were gone. I know something's going on. Did something happen?" Emilia ran a hand through Remus's shaggy hair, "Please talk to me."

Remus's eye's darkened, "There's nothing to talk about." He shook off Emilia's hand and stood Emilia said nothing but moved out of his way allowing him to leave the room. He marched down the hall to the kitchen, just as Sirius returned from his latest mission.

Remus jerked open a cupboard and then slammed the door with a growl.

"Oi, Moony. Calm down, what's the matter?" Sirius asked a mixture of frustration and worry plaguing his words.

Remus shook his head, "I'm sick of being treated like a monster."

Emilia slowly approached the room her cheeks pink as Sirius looked at Remus in confusion, "What do you mean? Remus we never-" Sirius began

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Remus interjected. Slamming his fist against the icebox.

"Stop that. Tell you what?"

Remus glared hard at Sirius, "There's a spy…Everyone thinks it's me. James and Lily, they have to go into hiding, what for? I don't know because no one trusts a monster." Remus growled out again and began walking to the living room.

"Remus, you are not a monster. We'd never think-" Emilia began walking to him and raising a hand to place on his arm. Remus pulled away before her hand could even touch him.

Sirius walked in front of Remus who had begun pacing; Sirius walked in front of him and placed both of his hands on his biceps, "Please Moony, calm down. James and Lily…I can't tell you why only that everything will be okay…Please Moony-"

"No. Just stop, Sirius." Remus's eyes flashed amber, "You have every right to not trust a werewolf, you're just a silly human. You have no idea if everything is going to be okay. So many people are dead, yet you think everything will be okay." Remus gave a bitter laugh, "Nothing will be okay…not really. This is war Sirius. So, stop being stupid and open your eyes. Both of you." Remus looked pointedly at Emilia who stared at him with wide eyes.

Sirius sneered, "You know what Remus. You're right, about many things we have kept a lot hidden from you, because of Greyback and your work with him." Sirius's eyes darkened, "Maybe you're right, you are nothing but a monster."

"Sirius. Remus. Stop." Emilia said sharply, she stepped forward. Sirius held up his hands making her pause in her tracks.

"No, Em." Sirius's nostrils flared, "Just. Stop. You can't fix this. Merlin, no one can. Moony you're right this is war. And war shows everyone's true colors." Sirius's eyes narrowed, "What's yours Remus? Silver and Green or maybe you prefer the uniform of black robes and masks."

In a spit second Remus had struck Sirius in the cheek, Sirius landed on the ground with a loud 'thumps. Emilia who was standing off to the side froze,just as Remus had. A blend of shame and anger crossed Remus's face as he looked down at his red knuckles. Emilia moved to Remus and Sirius both but Remus backed away and ran out of the flat.

"You shouldn't have said that Sirius." Emilia said as she lowered herself beside of Sirius gently tending to the swollen part of his face.

"Oh, you're going to take his side." Sirius huffed out while he looked at her incredulously.

Emilia looked at him with a steely expression, "I don't take sides when it comes to us. You know that. But we both know what you said was too far. Remus would never-"

"He just punched me."

"Yeah, he did. So, would I. Find him Sirius. We're family, we have Briar and we can't do this. Just please, find him." Emilia looked at him, her cheeks were tinted pink and a stray tear fell down her cheek, "Find him. Fix this or don't come home."

Sirius looked at her in shock, "You don't mean that, Em."

Emilia gave him a hard look. "I do Sirius. We have to make this work. And the two of you are not trying. I know you're not. This war….I understand you two want to fight. And I am so proud of that and that you are both mine, it makes me whole. But I will not watch you two destroy each other or yourselves, and more importantly Briar will never see that. I will make sure of that."

Sirius gave her a hard look as he rose from the floor, "You would keep our daughter from us."

Emilia looked up at him and stood slowly, "If you two don't fix this." She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, "Sirius, I love you both too much to let Briar see you two like this. She doesn't deserve to see her parents break each other down. Find Remus, bring him home so we can work this all out."

Sirius looked down at the floor and then at Emilia, "There's nothing to work out Emilia. This war it is greater than all of us. It has changed us. You know it and so do I."

Emilia swallowed, "Then, maybe you should go. Until you figure out your priorities, I don't want to see you or Remus." She began to leave the room, she looked over her shoulder, "You are right Sirius we have changed; but I have never stopped loving either of you. But I will not watch you two tear each other apart and Briar will not see that."

Sirius watched as Emilia walked out of the room her long flowery dress flowing behind her. He knew she was right and that he had to find Remus and make up with him; but he also knew Remus wouldn't talk to him in that moment.

Sirius walked towards the bedrooms and saw that Emilia had shut the door to their room, he was positive that his witch locked it too. He lowered his eyes and walked into Briar's room. He smiled absently at the pale pink walls, and stuffed animals as he walked to Briar's crib. She was soundly asleep her hands curled by her mouth and her face relaxed. Sirius traced the smooth curve of her cheek.

"It's alright Princess, daddy will make everything alright." Sirius whispered while kissing her cheek.

He left the room and walked to the living room, he grabbed his black leather jacket and walked out of the door.

* * *

 **Present**

Emilia looked at her daughter as retold the story. "After that night, they didn't come home. I was worried. I knew I was being unfair…To Sirius, Remus…you. I was scared. The morning of November first Remus came home, and I felt this knot in the pit of my stomach. James and Lily, they were…gone and Harry taken god knows where. Three days later Sirius was arrested for murdering not only twelve muggles but Peter as well…his best friend, we never heard from him before that. Neither Remus nor I could fathom that Sirius was capable of that." Emilia licked her lips.

Briar looked at her mother with wide eyes as she breathed heavily, "And Remus?"

Emilia grimaced, "Remus, tried so hard. But he blamed himself, he lost all of his friends in one night. A large part of his family. Remus tried…He was and is a good man, but it was hard, we had bills to pay and Remus worked as much as he could, but it was practically impossible with his lycanthropy. It was after losing his third job…just after New Year's Eve that he left. He left a note that said, 'we were better off and that he couldn't hold us back, he loved us too much to burden us.'" Emilia was openly crying as she thought of the piece of parchment on the kitchen table that morning.

Emilia wiped her eyes and looked at Briar and smiled, "I never once believed he was a burden. I loved him. Same with Sirius, I loved him…and believing he could…It's almost impossible."

A silence fell over the two until Briar tentatively asked, "Do you still love them?"

Emilia looked down at her hands, "I don't know." She gave Briar a small smile, "You'll learn that love is something complicated…It doesn't seem that way when you're young though…You just get to love effortlessly."

* * *

 **AN:Translations**

 **Non, nous parlons maintenant: No, we are talking now**


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